FREE READ ½ When My Heart Joins the Thousand

FREE READ ✓ eBook, ePUB or Kindle PDF ô A.J. Steiger

Th a cane who turns up every day with a new injury whose body seems as fragile as glass Without even meaning to she finds herself getting close to him But Alvie remembers what happened to My Heart Joins PDFEPUB #228 the last person she truly cared aboutHer past stalks her with every step and it has sharp teeth But if she can find the strength to face the enemy inside her maybe she’ll have a chance at happiness after all. I just finished I'm shaky I will not read any reviews or anything about the author until I'm done writing this What day is it Friday I guess I work tonight I'm in a bathrobe kind of ratty and Birkenstocks because somehow it feels comfortable to have them on than to be in bare feet these days I turned the last page of the book closed it wiped my eyes hugged it to my chest and smiled gently and here I amI really don't know what any of you want to read and I sit here thinking about how these reviews are my outlet my way of trying to make sense of all my feelings over a book I have no objectivity I really don't If you thought maybe I had a bit think again I'm INFP That either means something to you or it doesn't In short it's about feelings for me the feelings I was at a funeral this week and it was one about a big love story I thought about the finite nature of our existence And then right book right time A very long time ago when I was fifteen someone gave me Watership Down and I read it It was hardcover edition and had just been published It was a huge gift to me at the time the first hardcover book I'd ever owned This author I don't know one thing about this author not a thing obviously was very affected by Watership Down It's interesting to me how books get the YA rating I wonder who reads this book and I wonder how many adults will miss it because of the YA categorizing What's the book about right It's about opening up or shutting down It's about joy and pain It's about the myth of normalcy and the incredible drive and terror to be seen for our real selves naked not just literally but figuratively I think about the word love and how when I was young it was not used all the time People did not love everything Fries movies sweaters cars Well maybe they did love them but it was just not a word that was overused And now everyone loves everything or sometimes it seems like that and it bothers me Sometimes I think about love being a verb and to say it we need to practice it to live it It's easy to say Love love love love love love See But to practice it not just on days it's easy but on the days when it's not easy when it's difficult when storm clouds threaten and we're just tired and worn down When My Heart Joins the Thousand reminded me of what love in it's purest form means I am so very grateful to have read this book I needed these pages right now than words can say but I've tried to say itBe good to each otherPamFishgirl

CHARACTERS When My Heart Joins the Thousand

When My Heart Joins the ThousandObviously I’m not what most Heart Joins PDFEPUB #236 people would describe as happy But that has nothing to do with anything Happiness is not a priority Survival isAlvie Fitz doesn’t fit in and she doesn’t care She’s spent years swallowing meds and bad advice from doctors and social workers Adjust adapt Pretend to be normal It sounds so easyIf she can make it to her eighteenth birthday without any major mishaps sh. I want to preface this review by saying that I am not autistic not do I have the disability that Stanley suffers from and I can only speak as an outsider looking in; however any and all own voice opinions and reviews would be welcomed and I would be happy to boost your review if you DM me or drop me a comment Why did everyone act like it was my fault when the other kids bullied me Why was I always the one who had to change Going into a book with a romance between an autistic MC and her disabled love interest is the sort of thing that makes me feel very wary – will it be good authentic rep Will these characters be painted positively Will I find myself knee deep in tropes and cheap shots Again while I can’t speak from experience I found myself feeling really pleased by the rep in this book and the way issues were handled There were so many potential tropes that the author cleanly subverted and I was so invested in this story and these characters that I genuinely did not want it to end Happiness is not a priority Survival is Staying sane is Pointing out that I’m not happy is like pointing out to a starving homeless man that he doesn’t have a sensible retirement plan It might be true but it’s entirely beside the point As a child Alvie was diagnosed with Asperger’s and was told that she had to “get better” or she would never get anywhere in life Now she’s 17 years old and determined to prove the world wrong and wow is she fierce Her commitment to taking care of herself would be noble enough in any teen but for her the stakes are so much higher and her fear of being put into a group home broke my heart In fact it was the very first thing in this story that was eye opening for me empathizing with the thought that someone could be threatened with having their freedoms taken away from them just because they don’t interact with the world in what we’ve deemed as “socially acceptable” Technically my condition doesn’t even exist any; if I ever go back to the doctor they’ll presumably have to find some other label to stick on me The specific words don’t matter I’ll always be this way Despite the fact that so much of the story is heavy focusing on Alvie’s determination to simply survive through each day her commentary on the world around her is refreshing and often really mood lifting She loves animals dearly and has some particularly wide words on nature as a whole but also she manages to point out how people in their day to day lives do so many strange or unnecessary things – whose authority was it to deem them as “normal” The idea that autistic people don’t feel compassion is just an ugly stereotype but it’s a viewpoint I’ve encountered even from some professionals despite obvious evidence to the contrary More than anything though I loved how kind Alvie is She is so concerned with the world around her and though she doesn’t always know how to express them her intentions are always in the right place Especially when she meets Stanley the young man with the cane who comes to visit her park everyday As she grows to know and care for him Alvie cares about his well being than anything else and she blooms into this incredibly loving and nurturing young woman even when it means sacrificing her own happiness Nothing about me is easy If you asked me to choose who I loved between Alvie and Stanley to be honest I don’t think I could He matches Alvie’s compassion but he’s terrified of not being “enough” – of being unable to protect her or to be her eual due to his own disability and mental health Not only does he suffer from a condition called osteogenesis imperfecta – or as he says “a fancy way of saying my bones break easily” – but we also learn that familial abuse has given him terrible PTSD We’ll come back to that in a moment but it leads me to my next point Does he assume that just because I’m different I’m incapable of having a sexual relationship with anyone That I’m unable even to feel desire This story focuses on an incredible amount of sex and the way that it is handled made me want to cry tears of joy because it is absolutely the kind of rep that we need in YANA books There is a tremendous amount of talk surrounding consent especially due to Alvie’s touch aversions and sensitivity to stimulus and the characters are unafraid to sit down and talk about what is or isn’t comfortable for them There’s a lot of sex positivity regarding one night stands and casual sex but there’s also mention of how emotional sex can be between two individuals who care deeply for one anotherBoth characters are virgins and there are conversations about how terrifying that first time can be or how toxic masculinity affects young men who don’t have sex immediately after puberty There’s just so much important content about sex in this book including the fact that in this mf couple the guy is the one who’s “not ready” and the girl is the one who has to tamp down her carnal desires and be patient I just loved their whole relationship so much for so many reasons that I couldn’t even list them all here “When the ones who hurt you are the people who love you most no one ever tells you how you’re supposed to deal with that” Finally the last major topic Steiger addresses abuse in many different forms as well as the guilt that can come with being an autistic or disabled individual with loved ones who don’t share your struggles There is a lot of talk about feeling like a burden or feeling “not good enough” and Alvie shares a few flashbacks to painful moments and things her mother said to her as well as an incredibly traumatic experience her mother put her through as a preteen Despite all of these focuses on the negative outcomes of Alvie and Stanley’s respective family problems the theme throughout the book remains the same it should never be an autistic mentally ill or disabled person’s responsibility to feel guilty useless or broken Instead it should be society’s responsibility to learn how to offer compassion empathy accessibility and understanding When My Heart Joins the Thousand isn’t your typical contemporary and these aren’t your typical YA characters This story is so uniue and so precious and so heavy and so special I am so so happy to have had the opportunity to read it and I sincerely hope that Steiger writes important work like this in the futureContent warnings ableism PTSD mental illness assault suicide abuse homophobia All uotes are taken from an unfinished ARC and may differ from the finished product Thank you so much to HarperTeen for granted me this ARC in exchange for my honest review

A.J. Steiger ô 8 FREE READ

FREE READ ½ When My Heart Joins the Thousand ½ ➳ [Reading] ➶ When My Heart Joins the Thousand By A.J. Steiger ➩ – Obviously I’m not what most people would describe as happy But that has nothing to do with anything Happiness is not a priority Survival isAlvie Fitz doesn’t fit in andE’ll be legally emancipated Free But if she fails she’ll become a ward of the state and be sent back to the group When My Kindle homeAll she wants is to be left alone to spend time with her friend Chance the one winged hawk at the zoo where she works She can bide her time with him until her emancipation Humans are overrated anyway Then she meets Stanley a boy who might be even stranger than she is a boy who walks wi. I'm not sure how to review this book I thought that it was a good read but at times it seemed kind of over the top You don't hear many 17 year olds living on their own and it seemed like Alvie was on her own since she was 15 with a full time job and her own apartment I'm way older than her have a full time job but still can't live in my own apartment She was doing pretty good for herself and then the last 100 pages everything seemed to full apart for Alvie but then things got good again Stanley ooohhh Stanley Stanley was perfect maybe too perfect even with his disablity I loved him and I loved how he accepted who Alvie was though Books like this just break my heart but in a good way if that even makes sense