Read & download Ô Honey I Wrecked the Kids When Yelling Screaming Threats Bribes Time outs Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don't Work ´ E-book or Kindle E-pub

Free download Honey I Wrecked the Kids When Yelling Screaming Threats Bribes Time outs Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don't Work

Read & download Ô Honey I Wrecked the Kids When Yelling Screaming Threats Bribes Time outs Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don't Work ´ E-book, or Kindle E-pub ☆ [PDF] ❤ Honey I WreckTV host and psychotherapist Alyson Schafer I Wrecked the Kids When Kindle again comes to the rescue of desperate parents everywher. In “Honey I Wrecked the Kids” Alyson Schafer argues for raising cooperative children rather than obedient ones by “shifting from a punishment and reward model of parenting to a democratic model that is brimming with respect” She explains that a child who doesn’t feel connected capable counted and courageous will feel discouragement “and misbehavior is always the result of feeling discouraged” In other words Schafer urges parents to see that misbehavior comes from an unmet need and to focus on meeting that need rather than dominating or manipulating children into compliance Schafer’s advice for how to encourage a discouraged child differs based on the situation She describes four separate “dances” attention power revenge and avoidance and describes how each stage is an escalation of the last eg a child seeking undue attention if not properly addressed will escalate into one with whom a parent struggles for powerSchafer offers up very specific tips and suggestions for implementing this touchy feely parenting approach The only problem is that her entire playbook depends upon a parent firing on all cylinders When I’m rested and have reviewed my notes I can make many of her suggestions work to great effect Unfortunately I often haven’t had time to sleep or reread her strategies When it comes to eliciting behavioral improvement a simpler approach like those in “The Happiest Toddler on the Block” and “Say What You See” affects greater change Schafer's writing though often trying uite hard to be accessible simply doesn't flow easily; though I noted something interesting on each page that made it worth reading the whole process felt a bit like a slogI nonetheless recommend reading “Honey I Wrecked the Kids” and keeping it on the shelf for two reasons 1 someday we will have the wherewithal to recall and calmly implement these excellent strategies and 2 random tricks will stick with you even if making the entire system work feels like a stretch at the moment eg I easily incorporated the “whenthen statement”Here are a few uotes that demonstrate Schafer’s style“The key message here is to be in an active caring respectful relationship with someone who gets you accepts you and revels in the marvel that is you”“A child seeking undue attention will seek out any behavior that gets their parents to stop what they’re doing and pay attention to them Some kids will do this by being silly; they will jump around in some crazy dance Some children decide to take on a persona as in ‘I am not Marcie I am a cat’ Perhaps your kids feign helpless in order to have you ‘care’ for them Other children will want you to feel worried so they will bang their heads or make themselves fearful Attention seeking kids will also discover ways to be a general nuisance and pest They might whine spill or blow bubbles in their milk They might complain of feeling sick in non specific ways or be dramatic when they get a small scratch They may try to impress you with feats at the park Perhaps they talk too uietly or too uickly yammering in a non stop streak so fast you can hardly catch what they are saying”“1 Do not give undue attention when your child is demanding it from you 2 Give your child attention in the form of real connection 3 Avoid the traps that parents typically fall into stonewalling random reinforcement and others”“The parenting tools you will learn are 1 The delicate art of ignoring 2 All action no talk 3 Distraction 4 Redirection 5 Natural conseuences 6 Logical conseuences 7 Training for independenceAnd the tools for the longer term solution 1 Be present and leave space for independent entertainment 2 Catch ‘em being good 3 Build the relationship connection in the deep and rich way the child seeks”“Of course there are a few situations when using natural conseuences is not advisable 1 When the conseuence is too severe 2 When the conseuence is too far in the future 3 When too many others are impacted ”“To ensure that a logical conseuence isn’t punitive the conseuence must meet two criteria It must be related to the behavior hence the name ‘logical’ and it must be revealed to the child in advance”“DROP THE ROPE MODEL FOR GETTING OUT OF POWER STRUGGLES D Determine you are in a power struggle R Re assess the situation objectively O Offer an olive branch P Plow on positively”“1 If you don’t have something nice to say say nothing at all 2 Ask instead of telling 3 Acknowledge that you can’t force and as for a favor instead 4 Describe what you see 5 Say it in a word 6 Lighten up ”“If you’re power struggling you’re holding on to choice options that your children are ready to make for themselves”“A whenthen statement both empowers the child and states the routine as boss”“LOGICAL CONSEUENCES are NOT a good tool for power struggles They always come off wrong It’s too easy to look powerful when enacting a logical conseuence and besides there are better tools”“When the child’s goal is revenge our parenting job is to help the hurting child heal You are only getting in the way of your own goal when you punish The difficulty is that they often behave in ways that make it harder to want to act in loving and kind ways toward them ”“Fighting is co created and co operative behavior”“FIVE WAYS TO RESPOND TO SIBLING CONFLICT AND PREVENT HURT 1 Ignore the Fighting 2 Put Them in the Same Boat 3 Put It on the Agenda 4 The Two Arm Techniue 5 ‘Bugs’ and ‘Wishes’”“The Two Arm Techniue Gently holding one child in each arm so they are facing each other Mom clearly centered and not siding with one or the other Mom can say ‘Dina do you need to speak up Do you need to say something to your sister She is a very good listener’ Mom has not only empowered Dina to speak but she has also let Carla know she is not in the bad books and so she has no reason to be defensive”“Embrace mistakes as opportunities to learn and you encourage growth and persistence that will lead to mastery”“For many of us who were raised on praise we think it’s the best thing to give to a child since we yearned for it ourselves We’re projecting and regurgitating the tapes in our head”“Encouragement emphasizes the process rather than the final product so that all ages all abilities and all ualities are valued Giving your best is what is important and honored ‘Being the best’ is not”“Phrases that Demonstrate Acceptance ‘I like the way you handled that’ ‘You did a great job tackling that problem’ ‘I’m glad you enjoy learning’ ‘I am glad you are pleased with it’ ‘Since you are not satisfied what do you think you can do so that you will be pleased with it’ ‘It looks as if you enjoyed that’ ‘How do you feel about it’“Phrases that Show Confidence ‘Knowing you I’m sure you’ll do fine’ ‘You’ll make it’ ‘I have confidence in your judgment’ ‘That’s a rough one but I am sure you’ll work it out’”“While people do not have to attend family meetings they do have to live by the decisions made by those who did participate”Family meeting agenda “1 Appreciationsencouragement 2 Follow up old business 3 New business 4 Planningschedulingsyncing calendars 5 Distribute allowances 6 Weekly chore sign up 7 Closingfun”

Review ã E-book, or Kindle E-pub Ø Alyson Schafer

More life saving parenting advice Wrecked the PDF #10003 from the bestselling author of Breaking the Honey I PDF Good Mom Myth Bringi. I picked up this book despite it's cutesy title which had me expecting a different type of book Instead I was pleasantly surprised an impressed with what the book provides The language while light was much less dumbed down than some other parenting books I've seen and the book is concise without much filler or repetitionTh author Alyson Shafer is a psychotherapist of the Alfred Adler school of psychology and in the book uses an Adlerian approach to solving the impasses that we run into raising our childrenI like the parenting philosophy in the book mutual respect rather than an autocracy avoiding reward and punishment but allowing the child's choices and actions to consistently result in physical or logical conseuencesThe book covers four escalating levels of problems a child might manifest neediness control revenge and eventually giving up and shows ways to help resolve the causes for these symptoms It also very helpfully shows common mistakes that parents make when trying to deal with these issues even while following the book's approachThe book has made me reevaluate how I relate to my children and others and has provided me we a set of tools to reach to when I may feel like I'm at my wit's end

Alyson Schafer Ø 9 Free read

Honey I Wrecked the Kids When Yelling Screaming Threats Bribes Time outs Sticker Charts and Removing Privileges All Don't WorkNg the same perceptive and actionable advice that made Breaking I Wrecked the Epub #225 the Good Mom Myth an international bestseller. This seems to be the perfect middle ground between mainstreamreality parenting and idealised tribalattachment I say attachment because within that philosophy is the radical idea that children are people too deserving of respect yet how to we parent within that understanding and not be overrun by tyrannical children This book shows how to do that fairly and without sacrificing mainstream lifestyles nor running into the jungle and ditching mainstream altogether I loved it it was exactly what I needed as my first child is placid and easy but my second my son was a huge challenge for me I found I needed something concrete than the attachment philosophy was giving me This book guided me to remain gentle and open yet not feel I was losing control Highly recommended